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JANNA R

Tales from the otherside of nowhere.

Category

Journey Home

Disconnected

Why are so many of us disconnected from the gravity of earth With voices so high and have dismantled the hearth Walking on stilts or lumbering alone Carrying one heaving stone What are we afraid of when we cannot sit... Continue Reading →

Dying well

There are many ways to go To the other realm Perhaps you may quietly go in your sleep When your heart makes it's final bleep Or maybe you'll get shot out into space And get blown up to fly in... Continue Reading →

Remember

When I see a new face From far away I am reminded of tales From yesterday Of how I was once a slave in chains Or riding a horse free and wild before highway lanes Or perhaps a pirate or... Continue Reading →

Triadic loop

The victim The aggressor The believer In a dance they all play A song since the hey of day Blaming one and blaming all Until the tower does crumble and fall In a triad they do dance Like the courts... Continue Reading →

The spirit bringer

I know you. You long to carry the remains of my dead. You lack the parts I carry in my heart and head. It is my excess which you lack. As you haul your empty burdensome sack. You are incomplete, a... Continue Reading →

Weakness

Be smarter, read more Glasses Faster faster faster Running shoes Scream to get heard Corsetry Be taller to get noticed High heels Play a role Make up Shove the competition out of the way Muscle building Stay on the straight... Continue Reading →

Punishment

Being punished for who you are Is the cruelest thing to do by far And though worse yet Is to hurt yourself Because you know of nothing else

From top to bottom

Making logic of madness is the scientist's pursuit To rationalise and quantify every moment as moot But the artist accepts some things cannot be counted And seeks through nature's sense All the cracks and crevasses The masons wedged with lies and numbers... Continue Reading →

Finding Grace

Grace was never home Always out and about Could never sit still Unbelonging and ill How to find something that does not exist In my world? How to find pause? A silent peace The tightness in my chest Always present,... Continue Reading →

Remember

I remember the day all the lights went out You said it was love like a hero coming in the night But you punched my lights out with one blow And then I believed that's what love was The destruction... Continue Reading →

Girl Child

What a disappointment After all that effort A little girl with 10 fingers And 10 toes A mouth and nose But what is that between her legs Oh no, there is no penis But another set of lips But we worked... Continue Reading →

In the beginning

I looked into her eyes Old eyes That have lived countless lives Since the beginning They told me of how we began How my journey will not be an easy one An then, it wasn't easy Looking into her eyes We... Continue Reading →

Voice

They took away my voice Along with my choice Fed me rot From the fat friar's pot They tried to fill my head With stories of men long dead With privilege and title Sword and rifle Heaving with books And scowling looks... Continue Reading →

Closure

How to close the door when a wedge holds it open? How to burn a bridge when the river bank has burst? How to walk away when the wrist is cuffed to the opponent's? Closure is often rarely complete Either... Continue Reading →

Tick tock

There is a clock inside my head When I close my eyes and lay in bed Like a fob watch it goes tick tock As steady as a charged quartz rock Crystal clear is the beat As I feel the... Continue Reading →

Body

As I try to unravel the tales I was told From years ago when fear took hold The war within fought and raged Like a lone wolf tortured and caged Rediscovering my envy and greed Tracking back who planted the... Continue Reading →

Smile

they say to smile with your eyes but I did not know how they say to laugh from the soul but I did not know where it was they say to be generous but I had nothing to give they... Continue Reading →

Teeth

one tooth from a shark another tooth from a broken man a third tooth from the other man the forth tooth from a medicine man And two molars from me enshrouded in earth, grass and golden hearts

Wingless

Who tore your wings asunder Under a great clap of thunder Who snuffed out your dreams With a book of loaded memes Who grabbed your right hand dead To wrap it around a pencil lead Who loomed over your word... Continue Reading →

Fan

I waved and waved all night long While you sung your heartfelt song Giving you my wings and bells So you can weave your magic spells I watched you with heart and soul So you can grow a magnetic pole But as... Continue Reading →

The Lost Soul, the Wolf and the Ghost

Who do you see when you look at a reflection? What do you know when you search for your heart? What do you feel when you walk the earth? Is your soul dark and full of hunger? Are your thoughts full of rage? Are... Continue Reading →

Lost Girl

Tom

Who was Tom Where was he from What was the story That brought down the glory Why is that name so familiar Of something bigger The one who pulled the trigger Who was that red haired man With a grin... Continue Reading →

Double Trouble

Double trouble this way comes Be prepared for marching drums For the past will come a calling When the fisher does her trawling Gathering all the poisoned fish For your meal to dish Take a dandelion weed head Blow the seeds... Continue Reading →

Just joking

It was just a joke When you did me choke It was just for fun When you left me undone It was not so serious When you struck me delirious My wings of a million petals Replaced with stones and... Continue Reading →

Great Grandmother

I was two when our eyes locked Then the wind changed as I rocked Not long after your spirit fled And you left your body dead But I carried on your message well I carried long a magic spell All the... Continue Reading →

The Child of a Victim

I learnt to punch before I could paint I learnt to kick before I could dance I learnt to scream before I could sing I learnt to rage before I could cry From the depths of my soul But no... Continue Reading →

Grinding down

Bit by bit my soul did chip By words and sounds and tied up bounds There was hole where should have been a magnetic pole With feelings hollow, in the darkness to follow Why did you choose the words to use? To break... Continue Reading →

The Witches

Who do you let into your home Who runs your earthly dome And grips hard your soul Playing your tune and role She may come as a saviour Doing you a huge favour Letting you out to flee In the wind to play... Continue Reading →

A Dark Star

It took a great witch To take a religious man to stitch Who was lost in falsities And womanising monstrosities For our kind were bought and sold With hearts callous, cold and old You were brave but lost your will... Continue Reading →

The Left Hand of Darkness

Right is a straight and narrow road For those who carry their own load But if you bare the world on your shoulders As one of nature's earthly soldiers You must turn to go left In the mountain's shadow cleft Between the ridges at meadow's end Going... Continue Reading →

Thirsty

You create that which you are But you are broken So you broke me I was fine You broke me I was thirsty Not hungry I cried for thirst Not hunger I cried for company Not a drive I cried... Continue Reading →

Fire and Ice: The purple path

In a vessel of white With a bright light Focus is fixed The clock ticks I stand in the centre No longer a pretender With my truth within No god to begin What I must complete This grand feat In my left hand:... Continue Reading →

Mother’s Lies

Tell me a story tell it well Make it true, break the spell For if you tell me a tall tall tale I will see your face fall and fail In your telling I see the lies Your face I grow... Continue Reading →

Free Flowers

For you I danced and darkness romanced In the early hours we did tumble while the roots did rumble But too long on my toes falling on my nose My flower torn, broken and forlorn From mother dear I Iearnt... Continue Reading →

Peace

I have made my peace Letting you go There was nothing I could ever do To please or satisfy you I should have done less But I only just learnt that lesson In these last few years Long ago it was never... Continue Reading →

From Hell

Do you grow from inside out Or only within do you scream and shout Have you given up on how to live Feeding monsters and soul give Have you hung up your hat on a rack Allowed all to climb... Continue Reading →

Bogland

Here I sit between heaven and hell Like a child with stories to tell Mother on my left, Father on my right As I hold the reigns good and tight Father wields a mighty sword Crafted near the deepest fjord While Mother's sword rose from... Continue Reading →

Monster

I am the monster from under the bed I creep around when you rest your head All of your fears and nightmares reside Right by your nightlight and bedside Long ago I ran into the dark When a witch greeted... Continue Reading →

Friends

The arch of my sole tickled pink To stay high and firm, never sink Behind my knees were strong, not weak From a game of hide and seek Thighs hungered for a trunk to grip So one day I would sway, not trip ... But... Continue Reading →

Snowrose

Unsatisfied Lacking Never enough Forever wanting Always reaching Never giving without taking Never offering without grabbing Never granting without demanding Never building without destroying She who rises from the Earth The snake lady Kundalini Rising out of the Earth With... Continue Reading →

A Witch’s Hex

Out of the darkness it came Playing a wily game Making sounds like a bad wolf's howl Digging me out with an old iron trowel Feeding me poison for one hundred years Then gripping my throat as I held back the tears... Continue Reading →

000

In shame you walk the river of emptiness In rage you burn into nothing Through guilt you weave a lifelong shadow And by fear you stand -- meaningless Twisting in a trance Knotting up in a firm stance Since the beginning of time and... Continue Reading →

Why fly?

Why can't I fly Way up high? Why can't I reach far To a flying star? Why can't I jump Up to the camels hump? And why can't I see angels fly Till I die? Why? Why? Why? Can't you... Continue Reading →

She who forgot

She who has forgotten to kiss the earth with her feet She who has forgotten how to walk a lifetime upon the earth She who has forgotten to seek the earth between her toes She who has forgotten to grow roots into... Continue Reading →

Old Soles

These feet remember things of long ago Of where I walked fast and slow Of roads, paths and ways Walking for days and days In shoes much too small Knees grazed from many a fall Every maiden, mother and crone How many times... Continue Reading →

Wanting

It is buried in my shoulders Creeps into my knees Gripping onto my hips A wanting so great Forever longing And foreboding Unloved I am Left aside Wanting Consuming Filling Forever A bottomless hole lying deep within Like a babe... Continue Reading →

Envy

what a sight your are now that you have flown free and far I sit and watch with eyes of green following the things unseen racing through the trees faster than birds or bees in the wind between all things... Continue Reading →

Hate

it runs deep under the sea in the belly of the beast a darkness eternal I have found the horned one who lives in a cave under the flowers where the shit festers and blood boils I found vengeance Red... Continue Reading →

Happy Birthday

Oh happy birthday What a busy busy day When I was pushed out With a scream and a shout Grunting and moaning Heaving and groaning I was squeezed and shoved Feeling very unloved Why did I have to come out then? It wasn't yet my... Continue Reading →

Mother

My connection is grim You taught me to swim Belly sore Always wanting more Never satisfied Wishing I had died Why did you knock on my door? Whatever for? There is a hole Instead of a steel pole I have... Continue Reading →

Iron Wings

One by one they came Thinking it to be a game Lay willingly on the floor To open hope's last door Arms spread out open and wide No need for shame or pride Taking each hand in turn To find the fire sword -- burn Twisting... Continue Reading →

Air to Breathe

You said I was special Yet you wanted so much Pulling me down into your World With all your dreams and asperations Into me, one small person I was the first But not the last I was a miracle But not the only one... Continue Reading →

Flying solo

My path is forward I do not go backward Yet I stand still Never do I go to the same place twice To mark my space in time I go on To somewhere new But it still feels the same I... Continue Reading →

Different

"You are autistic" First it is a diagnosis Then it is a condition Then they try to cure you Then they give up on you Then one day after years and years of trying to be someone else You read... Continue Reading →

The Otherside

The Otherside is near That place which you most fear When mind and feelings disappear Insanity is near It is a deep pit of darkness In the middle of a fortress The World is such a mess Down the belly... Continue Reading →

The Red Elven Village

In the old town of Sinking Hell, where carpets once flew, is a hidden dwelling for travellers. This psychedelic spiral home is in an area of wooden houses, there are learning centres near by, as well as a shopping centre,... Continue Reading →

Thrown into the Pit and came out alive

On Monday the 26th I got a lift to the Pit, some 400 km north of Hell. I was going there to spend time with a friend and finish putting together the demo of our online game in Finnish. The... Continue Reading →

Home Hopping continues…

In the end of the last post about my journey, I found a place at Sorbus Hill. In the morning, I made my way once again to the local library to explore the net and work out my next step.... Continue Reading →

The journey home begins again…

Before we start the journey, I would like to point out that I will be using the Finnish non-gender third person singular pronoun: hän; as well as the possessive form: hänen. We have yet to come up with an appropriate non-gender third... Continue Reading →

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